This guy made us parents for the first time 8,949 days ago and today it has been 235 days since his Creator took him home to heaven at the age of 23. All of those 235 days have been hard, but this evening is especially hard. My heart aches from missing him.
His empty room across the hallway from ours still has all of his clothes in the hamper and in the closet, except a few pieces that his brother has taken to wear. The bedding that he slept in the last couple of nights before his accident is still on his bed and sometimes I go in there to bury my face in them with hope that I might still catch a hint of his smell. It is hard to explain the desire to hold on to every piece of him. I’ve even gone as far as picking up his used contact lenses which were thrown indiscriminately onto the carpet in his room. I have some of them in a zip lock baggie. At least one person who I confided in that I had wanted to do that, likened it to saving his used toilet paper or old poop. Hardly the same thing as far as I am concerned. These were practically a part of his body and helped him to see the world that he liked to experience at full tilt. They literally touched the most beautiful blue eyes ever, how could I not want to hold on to them?
I guess I’ll just cut my rambling short for tonight and end with this: “We miss you like crazy and love you so much, Jonathan.”