I can’t seem to catch my breath this week. The waves of grief keep crashing over me and knocking me off of my feet. I am having so much trouble focusing, it’s almost as bad as in the first few weeks after his accident. I miss Jonathan and see reminders of him every where I look. I miss his sparkling blue eyes, his smirky smile and his contagious giggle. I would give just about anything for one of his super tight hugs and to hear his laugh again. I suspect that with the holidays just 3 weeks away things will not improve significantly in the near future. Right now I am just doing the best that I can to lean into the strong and compassionate arms of my Creator. Nothing else even comes close to calming my racing heart.
Wanting desperately to dwell on Psalm 94:19 “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul” and Psalm 16:8-9 “I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will dwell securely.”
Lord, help me to keep my eyes on You.